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Tuesday, 26 May 2015

SKELETON!!!!!!!!!

  • What is your writing goal? My goal is making a good story

  • Put a target on your goal for this term:  💣


Generating Ideas

  • thinking, planning, brainstorming, building 

Organising Ideas

  • thinking, mapping, sifting, sorting, re-wording

Words

  • adding detail, language features, nouns, verbs, adverbs, adjectives, both technical and precise.

💣Sentences

  • simple, short, long, complex, compound, variety, connectives, adverbial, adjectival. 





Copy and paste your favourite sentence here: Why is it your favourite sentence? The hypnotised the rescue crew and some hypnotised skeletons I recognise as the drowned people from my waka march forward chanting destroy him, DESTROY HIM. This is my favourite sentence because it mentions hypnotise and I really like the word hypnotise. 


What challenged you the most and why? This story challenged me the most because my first story made no sense. 


What do you need to get better at in your writing and why? Sentences because they usaly make no sense. 


How can adults help you with this goal? Adults can read my story and tell me if it does not make sense. 











Characters humans
Skeleton
Dogs

Plot a day in the life of skeleton. 

Scene beach

899 years ago I was paddling my tribes waka at this very beach when suddenly a storm hit and the boat capsized. Everybody was flung out of the waka and drowned. My dead corpse washed up on the beach and over time my flesh was eaten by creatures leaving only my bones. At midnight I come alive and stroll along the beach looking for any trace of my flesh. 

Tonight another boat has capsized I recognise it. It's a exact replica of the waka I was drowned on. NO! It's the same one recovered and fixed. A panel on the side says: This waka was used 899 years ago. I hear scraping noises kkkkkkkkkkkkk and the waka scrapes against big rocks sticking out of the water. The left side rips off with so much pressure the waka flings off the humans the same way it flung me off but these people have lifejackets on and float to safety. 


WOO! WOO!, WOO! WOO!. It's next midnight and the first thing I hear is a ambulance. The rescue crew has arrived and they do not know what happened, the rocks have mysteriously vanished. Suddenly I realise it was the great mechanical beast of this beach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT MUST HAVE CAUSED THE TORNADO THAT MY WAKA WAS SUNK BY! Suddenly all the rescue crew got sucked into the water. Quickly the beast emerged, with a creak a door at the front opened. The hypnotised rescue crew and some hypnotised skeletons I recognise as the drowned people from my waka march forward chanting destroy him, DESTROY HIM! They tie me up and take me to their leader another skeleton I recognise as my brother. He laughs I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD. BUT... I have slipped away and successfully destroy the hypnotising machine without being noticed or detected.

 My brother is taken to a museum by the unhipnotised rescue crew and locked in a glass case and taken apart. Now he gets taken apart & put back together again. If you want to see him go to te papa but... What ever you do don't go at midnight.      

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