Camp writing eportfolio

WDescription: we have to choose a story for a eportfolio sample I chose this one from camp. I chose this one because it's about haunted rooms. 

"2 minutes reading only". "What!!" "Okay 0 minutes". "What!""okay 0 minutes" "what!" "bye". Click,"aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! a flame". "Go,to,sleep". I reached out to touch the flame... whew its only a shadow, of what, a chill ran up my spine, the closest tree was a long way away. My heart raced around the nerves screaming a ghost flame, a, ghost, flame. Then it appeared something glistening, a dot. I collapsed, I was knocked out, terrified cold, nothing would ever wake me, ever. There were explanations but they don't make sense take the one about the dot for example: there are printed dots on the curtains, but the dot would be black??

Feedback feedforward:I think u did good with detail but I think u should do more writing in your Description:trey

Evaluation: I think I did good in the writing next time I will follow treys advice. 

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Camp eportfolio post

Description: We had a really long trip on Tuesday. We had to go to El Rancho camp in Waikanae.
A 6:30am wake up. An 8:30am depart... It would be long and I would definitely meet my enemy, TRAVEL SICKNESS. A couple of minutes later, ah vomiting. When we got there all the boys had to do a discover El Rancho course and sort our cabins.
Finally our first activity, the pool. The other activities include the: waterslide, archery, rifles, and mini golf.
The millions of other things were fun but not as fun as the rafting: a piece of wood, milk bottles and lots of string, simplicity! We had a challenge to see if the boys could beat the girls. We had to make up a raft. The girls capsized theres. Then they lost heaps of milk bottle caps causing it to then sink, just like Titanic. We had to pick up bottle caps from everywhere.

Feedback/feed forward: I like how in the comments you were honest about everything but maybe you could add a bit more writing so we know a bit more about your day. Houston

Whakapapa

When everyone goes to kapa Haka some of us go to E.T. Reo with Elly and Troy. We have been making family trees/whakapapa. I chose to make mine on sheets. The main learning was to know the Māori names for: mum dad grandma and grandad. I found this challenging because it's hard to spell the words. 

Nice work maybe next time don't make the pitchers so big.

I like the colours and how you did it is great. Bella

One word eportfolio sample

Description: We have been creating one word art. I chose learning as my word because last year I didn't do enough. This year it's not happening. Step 1 get a word. Step 2 make a draft. Step 3 measure. Step 4 check with a teacher. Step 5 make the final version. Step 6 glue it on. Final product : 

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Feedback: I think you did well with your letters because it looks creative  

Feedfordward: You should of done your sign a bit smaller

Thanks for the feed back Houston. 

Evaluation: It was hard to get the right size. It was easy to get a good block letter. Next time I'll see if I can follow the feed back. 

Camp goals

In one week we will be on camp we had to make two goals, mine are: To overcome my fear of guns and to learn what it's like to be away from familiar stuff. 

We are going to el rancho camp in waikanai. It used to have a gigantic flying fox but it got struck by lightning. The boys are in oregan, girls in poplar and a mix in willow.